


questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart

by delorange



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Canon-Compliant, F/M, I hope, Parallel Universes, Probably full of mistakes, actually it’s like one paragraph, anyways set after he gives her the hospital, but um i wrote this in the last hour so, i had such a good title for this from a pink song but i forgot about this song omg, metaphorical which is really unlike me, no happy ending really, this is kind of sciency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24672772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delorange/pseuds/delorange
Summary: she doesn’t love surgery any less, but now she has the capacity to love more than that.
Relationships: Preston Burke/Cristina Yang
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15





	questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart

**Author's Note:**

> hey, i’m back with more self-indulgence, as i am aware nobody reads this ship but i am still in love with them😗enjoy x
> 
> title from the scientist by coldplay, but really the glee cast 
> 
> ps. also in this universe she’s won a harper avery by now okay
> 
> pps. the original title was ‘there’s a whole other conversation going on (in a parallel universe)’ btw, from beam me up by p!nk

Cristina’s a scientist.

As a scientist, she’s forced to, at the very least, entertain the possibilities of parallel universes. 

The idea doesn’t appeal to her very much. Whilst space-time may, in theory, be infinite, the age of the universe almost definitely isn’t. Simply put, it limits the possibilities for particles of matter to rearrange themselves into another universe, let alone one that even remotely resembles her own. 

She thinks this is reason enough to not believe in the multiverse, and is quite content in her beliefs. 

As a scientist. 

As a person, however, a person who lives and thinks and feels, she _desperately_ wants to prove the existence of the multiverse. So desperately, she’ll wake up in the middle of the night, gasping for air, thinking about the ‘her’ in the next universe along. 

Is that Cristina happy? Did she become a surgeon? Is she with Burke?

And that, is the million-dollar question. The question to which she would give anything for the answer to be _yes._

Every time the thought crosses her mind, which is embarrassingly often, she feels beyond pathetic, but it’s something that she just can’t let go. 

The idea that a version of her, and a version of Burke, somewhere, are together, consumes her. 

Like his love for her. _Consuming._

He’d said it himself. Backed it up with sentiments like _us working together would destroy my marriage_ and _you hold the carrot, and I’ll be chasing you._

She could hear it in his voice. He could see it written all over her face. But neither of them said it. 

The next day, she’d performed a routine surgery, very run-of-the-mill, in his OR. He scrubbed in, too, and watched her every move, watched her with the nurses. 

At the time, it put her on edge. In retrospect, she’s angry at herself for not enjoying it. 

That was on the last day she saw him, probably the last ever, but she refuses to dwell on that. 

She’s achieved all she can with her career. She has the reputation, she has the awards, she has the hospital. Now, it’s not enough. 

Now, occasionally, the thought of them in an alternate universe is the only thing that keeps her going. 

She doesn’t love surgery any less, but now she has the capacity to love more than that. 

His parting gift, aside from the hospital: a coffee. Very full circle. 

She’d cradled it in her hands like it was her baby, the artificial heat doing a poor job of warming her insides on that particular day. 

He leaned on the railings with her, looking out over the Swiss valley. They made conversation until the coffee was gone, but in reality they didn’t actually _say_ anything. 

They disposed of the cups, and she stopped him just before they reentered the institute. 

“If- in another, um, universe?” The words sounded stupid and desperate, but only because they were. She hoped he’d understand what she meant, and he did, of course, because he’s Burke, and she’s Cristina. 

They’ll always be Burke and Cristina. 

“In a heartbeat,” he whispered. “In another universe, we-“ He couldn’t go on, and she was glad. She couldn’t bear hear it.

“I-“ she trailed off, because she knew as soon as she said it would become real, and once it’s real it’s something they would have to deal with. 

This is not something they can deal with. Not properly, not without people being hurt.

He nodded. “I know. I wish-” 

She couldn’t reply. 

She ghosted her fingers over his cheek, so lightly you wouldn’t even know they made contact, but he leaned into the small touch, allowed his eyes to flutter shut for just a moment. 

It was real, tangible. It was this universe. 

A tear rolled down her face, followed by two on his. 

Another tear rolls now, as she sits in her office. It is followed by several more, all her own. 

As a scientist, Cristina can’t abide the thought of parallel universes. 

As a person, she can’t live without it.


End file.
